The Drool

WARNING: This is disgusting. 

I gave up peanut butter for Lent. I participated in Lent? What the Hell? Peanut butter, My Love, Mi Amore, My blood, all that is good on this planet. I mean really, WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? For reference, in 2005 I calculated that my consumption of peanut butter was over 150 lbs. (There will be an entire post dedicated to you, dear PB) When this comes up, the reaction of most is speechless, shock, and awe. I met my friend Ryan at the grocery store one day (this is very typical of us) and he noticed the lack of jar in my basket and I had to break it to him. It was the 30 day mark. He stopped dead in his tracks, his face fell as if someone had just died. 'But...WHY...?' Mostly because this is what he knows me as...

 

There are lots of things that people can do to test their will, run marathons, live with Monsters, watch Little People Big World. Different folks, different strokes. I believe in challenging yourself everyday. This has been one of the most challenging things I have ever done. This is beyond a challenge. This is a battle, a struggling battle. I live in Struggle City, Mayor of Strugglesville, Kerri Strug. 

 

Not only have I given up my life line, but also all nuts in general. Anything containing nuts, all nut products, ALL. Oh my God, it's happening. My mouth is water. Flood! 

This is not a joke. Over the course of that past 35 days, I have been woken by drool. My dreams have been haunting. Peanut butter cookies, peanut M&M's, Whole Foods peanut butter crispy rice treats. I can smell them in my dreams, taste them all. I once dreamed the entire process of making cookies and then woke up. ASSHOLES! I had to buy a new pillow. Salivation, to me, is beyond comprehension. Pavlov was right though. This is my goddamn bell. Get it together, mouth! The unconscious physical response is astounding. And repulsive. It's clear we need to be together. 5 days. 5 days. I can't afford to wake up next to an actual human being with that slobberjaw. Can you imagine dating a drooler? 

Vintage Soup #2

I'm lazy:

New MEN for Hanstin?

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 

     The rumor mill appears not be stopping for Erikstrup and Pinter that was reported by Us. Last week's "Trouble in Hannahdise?" chronicled the not so cheeky reunion between the celebrity duo in Chicago on the weekend of September, 29. But things didn't seem to be looking up even prior to then, says more eye-witnesses of the couple. In a recent turn of events, it appears that the couple has begun to pursue other interests rather quickly, NEW MEN!

        It was on the evening of September 23rd that the story leaked to US that Hannah had been canoodling with a Tall, long-haired man. The mystery man was the passenger in her Mercedes-Benz when she collided with a Papparazzo while making a left turn into her private residence complex. Neighbors reported the gentleman didn't leave the loft until Sunday evening. A photograph of the pair was taken with MM blocking his face and ducking away from the cameras. What is she trying to hide? "They hardly left the complex all weekend," says a resident. "There were take-out delivery men at the door twice a day!"

        The two weren't total home-bodies though. Pinter's trademark reservation name, "Loupe Eacho" was on the list at L.A. sushi bar Jopaboni. When the two arrived the at hot spot on Saturday evening and weren't seated immediately. Hannah threw an insensate tantrum shrieking, "Do you know who I am? I'm kind of a big deal!" She paced around the back entrance and smoked cigarettes until they were seated a mere 15 minutes later. As they dined, the two sat in the V.I.P section and seemed "delighted to be in each others company" says a server.

       Pinter returned to work the following Monday and as a co-worker on the set of SuperNanny sated, appeared "exuberant and cheerful" Though it is still unclear at this point who MM's identity and reason for the weekend visit is, Us has more reason to believe that something between Hanstin just isn't right. The same evening as the accident involving Pinter in Los Angeles, some interesting sightings of the other half were reported in the Windy City...

       Recent photos of Dustin solo in Chicago have been without his Bodyguard Bo; who was reportedly let go due to breach of contract. Since, the aspiring business manager has been spotted out with, "A large entourage of friends" instead says a fellow Chicago Socialite. But on the evening of the 23rd, Erikstrup was picked up from his Salon in the developing neighborhood of Edgewater by a "well dressed, broad shouldered Man." says a client. 

       The two were whisked away to Boystown (A predominantly gay area) and dined at El Jardin. "They were asked to be seated privately," says a host of the Taqueria. When Us asked his reps if he had hired a new Bodyguard, there was no comment given.

        It's no news that Dustin is accepting of the Gay and Lesbian community. In June, he made an appearance at the Chicago Pride event and made a donation to help fund AIDS research. "I am a very well-rounded individual who is accepting of all walks of life. I am happy to be here and support my fans," He stated in a press conference. Dustin's cat Topaz, is allegedly a lesbian.

      After a brief dinner, the two were spotted at a Gay and Lesbian Fundraiser Party in the Evanston, just north of Chicago. The event funded Northwestern University's GLBT organization, Twist. "The two men stuck close by each other all night," says a partygoer. "Dustin was leaning on him and whispering things to him as the hunky man smiled with glee."

       "Of course I miss my wife dearly, and wish her to be here with me now," Dustin said to the host of the event, Northwestern Senior Cory Lopez. "She is working very hard right now, and I respect her time; as she does mine. We're very happy."

       Neither The Pinter or the Erikstrup reps issued a rebuttal statement to last week's reports of a split. More fingers are pointing in the direction of DIVORCE!

I promise a new post next time... 

Vintage Soup #1

Before there was Bennifer, there was Hanstin.

5 years ago, before blogging was blogging, there was a little-known site called Myspace. I was a Sophomore in undergrad. I say that as if I went to grad school, I did not. I stumbled upon this series of vintage blogs when I actually signed into Myspace to cancel my account. In a 3-part mini-series, You will see the public destruction of HANSTIN. This all came about when my then-boyfriend wanted to be "in a relationship" on Facebook while Hannah and I were "Married." So this is where my mind went...

Please note: I was serious. And 20. 

Wednesday, October 5th, 2005

SPLITSVILLE?

Could this be the end of Hanstin?!

     Following the trend of recent celebrity breakups, Dustin and Hannah could be on the outs. The power couple has been separated for 3 months working on independent projects on the oppostie sides of the country, but reports of the distance could be taking its toll on the pair; says sources. Pinter has been busy in Los Angeles working on the set of SuperNanny for the NBC network, while Dustin has stayed back in Chicago to continue his education in Business Management at Columbia and pursue a career in the same field.

      Hannah made a visit back to the Chitown this past weekend, as onlookers watched the drama unfold. The couple arrived with pals at Chicago HotSpot Four around 11 PM and appeared "Banal and Stale" says a club goer. "They were just sitting there not talking to eachother." says sources. "She was distant all night and making calls on her blackberry." Hannah made her exit mere moments after arrival with two mystery men, while Dustin stayed back and continued to sip on Effen and tonics with pals. "After she left, he seemed unaffected by her exit, he was chatty with guests and danced with another woman," says fellow Four guest. There was no comment from the Pinter camp when asked about the mystery men.

      The drama picked up late night at InnJoy on Saturday when the couple was seen entering the club around 12:30 AM. "They showed up with an entourage of people and they were distant all night." says a waitress for the Wicker Park hot spot. Hannah chatted all night with a close friend, while Dustin danced in the private booth. Things really got heated when the couple attended a private party around 2:00 AM.

      "There was a blow-out in the street," says fellow party goer. "She stormed out of the Bungalow with her pal and demanded Dustin to come with. There was a shouting match that ended with him slamming the cab door in her face!" Is Dustin fed up with her Diva antics?

       "They have history," says a close friend. "They have their ups and downs like any couple, they're only human." But with only 3 days spent together in recent months, things aren't looking so hot for the Hanstin camp. "They have so much invested in each other, I know how much she means to him."

       It wasn't all cats and dogs over the visiting weekend. "They enjoy meeting up late at night," says a close friend of Hanstin. The couple was spotted chowing down at a local Mexican joint, (Their favorite treat) around 3 AM on Friday night. Sources close to the duo say,"They met with pals first, but decided to spend some quality time together. They ran across the street and were laughing the whole way there!" They were reportedly dancing, singing, and feeding each other their meals. "Hannah even paid for his meal!" says the cashier of El Jardin. "They appeared to have strong chemistry."

       The reports of the couple's trails and tribulations is no new news to the press, we all remember their very public split two years ago after a brawl outside of a swanky loft on 18th St. in Chicago's South Loop. Could this be another rocky point, or is this the end? Stay posted with Us to find out more of this dramatic duo's antics!

Foody

Pronounced like Hoody. I've only mentioned food here once. Wait...what? How the --?! I know. You too? Baffled. This morning I had 3 brownie cupcakes, an apple, and some Greek yogurt. I'm feeling better already.

Due to the sudden and massive increase of people I know blogging about food they create and/or consume, I'll mention a recipe of mine that is without a fail, a huge hit. This was introduced to me last year in Atlanta by a wonderful girl named Amy. She had no name for them, I call them Cuddles because that's what Hugs and Kisses are!

Step 1- Gather Materials

Cuddles
Serves 1

1 bag generic mini-pretzels
1 bag Hershey's Hugs
1 "Tear 'n' Share" size bag of M&M's
2 bags of Reese's Pieces
1 set of hands
2 eyes

Ohh, right. Yes, that is a Chipotle bag as well. Oopsies, didn't mean to tease you.

Step 2- Find your treasured copy of Céline Dion's My Love, you know what to do with that...

Step 3- Preheat oven to 210 degrees. On a cookie sheet, spread pretzels out evenly as to not over lay one on another.

Step 4- Warning! This step is the most difficult. Unwrap each Hershey's Hug and place them atop the pretzels.
As you can see, this step takes patience, self-control, and diligence. Unwrapping the Hugs is rather time consuming and with each unveiling of creamy morsel, you have to implement the strongest of will. See those naked pretzels in the corner? I take full responsibility for the lack of Hugs, sorry P's!

Step 5- place the tray into the oven on the middle rack for approximately 7 minutes as to not over-melt the Hugs. They should glisten and slightly widen when you take them out.

Step 6- place 2 Reese's or M&M's on each delicacy while the chocolate is still warm. If you're feeling risky and adventurous, you can place 1 M&M and 1 Reese's on a delicacy. Let cool for 20 minutes IF YOU CAN WAIT and enjoy!


Please note: the M&M Cuddles seem to be more popular which is completely beyond me...

mmmmmmMK

Since I remember caring about anything fashion related, I can remember Mary-Kate Olsen. It was an obsession. People like to throw that word around so casually. "I was like obsessed with gelly roll pens" or "I'm like so obsessed with Hillary Duff." Okay, maybe they were. But I'm talking a legitimate infatuation. My friend Hannah has a video of me, somewhere hidden far far away, in an over-sized sweater, leggings, and bug glasses waltzing around our apartment emulating her in a "candid" street interview. Completely normal. Also, I owned all these items. What. Are you judging me now?The summer of 2003 she was generating a lot of press. Remember the global event that was her 18th birthday? Websites dedicated to it, countdowns, bets, a private celebration by yourself while with your friends and they thought it was just another night out... Just me? Ohh.

In some gossip rag that summer, there was a picture of her in baggy sweatpants, a vintage t-shirt, big sunglasses and bangles. She was in public, in sweats. The audacity! I was hooked. I could see we had a lot in common:

1. We liked raggedy clothes (thrift stores were and are cool!)


2. We liked to smoke cigarettes, which I have long since let go (Give it up MK!)


3. We liked coffee


4. We were skinny, really skinny


5. We biked


6. We were blond* AND loved fur

7. We both had the letter R in our names....
Okay I was really grabbing at straws here. She was, in my eyes, Fabulous.

But, here's the thing with my relaysh with MK, it's very one-sided. I don't care about her. There's nothing about her that I would like to know that I don't get in pictures. It's much like how "normal" people cruise Facebook- I cruise Mary-Kate Olsen. I saw in a picture once she was giving a bum a $20. A Humanitarian! Rejoice! I've never seen her movies and frankly I do not want to. Apparently she was on Weeds? Ooops, missed that one. She would probably have to wear pants! There's no fun in that!


Hearing her talk would ruin my ideal and fantastical voice that I have for her. Think Kathleen Turner with a helium tank. Her walk is probably similar to a Gollum hobble, I prefer stills. Her personal life...huh? She dates? She has friends? A dog? Genitals? No, these are things I need not know.

Things I need/want to know about MK:
1. She is alive
2. She will dress herself (Hallelujah!)
3. People will take her picture

Things really took a turn for the worst during my second semester of college when my friend Ali (Pop Culture Junkie) found out about my secret obsession and introduced me to Gemini-Twins.com. A website dedicated to all that is Olsen. All I wanted were the photos dammit! I started visiting at least once a day to see candid photos of her walking with things in her hands. Literally.


I love the utter ridiculousness that is Mary-Kate Olsen. Overall, her fashion sense is fantastic. In her prime, if she wore it, it wasn't the trend yet, she was setting it. She just goes for it. Fearless? Maybe...I mean, she's obviously a little insane.

*This was not her best look, A for effort though. Poor thing, she looked like a zombie hooker.

Other looks that failed for MK:
The Top Hat


The Meg Ryan/Ozzy:


The Golden Girl:



The Yoda:


By the way, she has a sister. Trashley.

Sleuthin'

Every season I create playlists of the songs that I currently fancy. It's been going on for years and they have ridiculous titles. I will not share these titles with you, however I will share the songs that have gotten a lot of play lately. For those of you who follow me on Twitter (and may have been spammed today, I blame Adam Miller) these titles may be redundant. None of these have made me cry.

Lea Michele (Glee) - Don't Rain On My Parade
Animal Collective - My Girls
Whitney Houston - Queen of the Night (CJ Mackintosh Remix)
Junior Boys - FM
Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind Pt. II
FischerSpooner - In A Modern World
Richard Marx - Hazard (I'm serious)
Florence + The Machine - Dog Days are Over
Jack Penate - Be The One
Lady GaGa - Dance in the Dark
Chelley - Took the Night (Luxury Goods Mix)
Vampire Weekend - Diplomat's Son
Shiny Toy Guns - Le Disko
Sneaky Sound System - It's Not My Problem
Of Montreal - First Time High
Basement Jaxx - My Turn









On the case!

Magic

I've been sitting on all of these grandiose blog posts for the past two months trying to find the time to spit them out and making them perfect. Well, I'm over that! Yesterday I returned from a week trip to Sunny(ish) Florida with my two besties Johnny and AM. AND WE DIDN'T FIGHT ONCE! Hard to believe, I know. The first two days were intensely Disney, spending 24 of 48 hours literally running through all four parks. Who knew The Kingdoms were so adult friendly? You can buy booze anywhere these days! Glorious. I spotted a kiddie-leash disguised as a backpack disguised as a monkey. Also, Glorious.


I have family in the Red State as well that we spent all day Saturday with. To my surprise and delight, AM became just "A" for the day, Johnny dropped the "ny," and we were able to commiserate with the Erikstrup folks juuuuust fine. I still wore purple though, not all hope was lost...It has been over 8 years since I have seen some of them and my Grandmother said, "You're just as skinny as your Dad." My Dad is waif-like. Ohhhh Grams, what you think is a jab is really just a pat on the back. It was "lovely" as John(ny) would say to see them again. It's funny long how time passes but everything seems to be the same.

As you all may be aware, Sunday was Valentine's Day. Those two did their fair share of grinding up some love. Fear not reader(s), I did not go to bed alone....



That is all.